


Perfect for each other

by myhead_myuniverse



Category: Why Don't We (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Reader, Choking, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hickeys, Hurt Daniel, Insecure Daniel, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Marking, Platonic Relationship with Jonah, Slight Choking, hurt reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:42:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25092553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhead_myuniverse/pseuds/myhead_myuniverse
Summary: Their skins are burning where they’re pressed against each other, a light sheen of sweat still covering their bodies. It should feel disgusting, but it doesn’t. His fingertips are running up and down her back while hers are tracing shapes against his chest.“So why?” He says pressing his thumb against the mark his lips left on her collarbone.She lifts her head up and press her chin against his chest. “Why what?” She can’t help herself but reach to push away a strand of hair falling on his forehead, she’s so used to seeing him all dressed up with his hair perfectly done for the cameras. She likes him better like this, his hair all messed up, pink painting his cheeks, purple marks all over his chest and still covered in sweat.Her fingers make their way down his face to press her thumb against his bottom lip. He smiles at the gesture, erasing the heart shaped by his top lip. “Why do you keep hooking up with me? I know you’re in love with him.”
Relationships: Daniel Seavey/Original Female Character(s), Mention Jonah Marais/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	1. Safe places

Their skins are burning where they’re pressed against each other, a light sheen of sweat still covering their bodies. It should feel disgusting, but it doesn’t. His fingertips are running up and down her back while hers are tracing shapes against his chest.

“So why?” He says pressing his thumb against the mark his lips left on her collarbone.

She lifts her head up and presses her chin against his chest. “Why what?” She’s not even confused, Jonah is always this deep and mysterious, even after sex. She can’t help herself but reach to push away a strand of hair falling on his forehead, she’s so used to seeing him all dressed up with his hair perfectly done for the cameras. She likes him better like this, his hair all messed up, pink painting his cheeks, purple marks all over his chest and still covered in sweat.

Her fingers make their way down his face to press her thumb against his bottom lip. He smiles at the gesture, erasing the heart shaped by his top lip. “Why do you keep hooking up with me?”

There are so many answers to that question. Because of the good sex, because it’s easier, because it keeps her from thinking too much, because it helps her bury her feelings for someone else very far away. She knows it’s the latter Jonah wants to hear but the singer also knows she won’t admit it so easily. “The good sex?” It sounds more like a question then an affirmation. Not like she isn’t sure of the answer, more like she isn’t sure he’ll believe her.

“Are you asking me or telling me?” He smirks like he already figured her out.

“Telling you.” There’s nothing she can hide from him. Sometimes she forgets he’s been her best friend for so long and he can read her too well.

“Sure.” She can picture him rolling his eyes while all she can focus on are the muscles in his shoulder. “I thought you were done lying to me.”

“I’m n…” She stops before lying for a second time. “Ok, I am. The sex isn’t that good.”

“Fuck you.” He laughs pinching the skin on her side. “It’s not what you said earlier.”

She rolls her eyes at him, hitting him in the chest.

“So… Daniel.” He says like only the sounds of his name doesn’t keep her from breathing. “Wow, you’re on the blushing stage.” Her hand instinctively comes around her face to hide it.

When they were 14, Jonah figured out she had different stages of crushing for someone. Starting with ‘smiling like an idiot in his presence’ to ‘blushing at the simple mention of his name’.

“Shut up.” She mumbles unable to find something else to say.

Jonah isn’t wrong, she has a massive crush on Daniel. Things is, she doesn’t know how it happened. It must’ve come to life in those endless afternoons laying against each other on the couch or in those late-night swims. She guesses it started between those conversations about his family and the ones about their deepest fears.

All she knows is that one day it hit her. She remembers being mad at him because he jumped in the pool and splashed her, soaking all of her clothes. She remembers the anger leaving her body as he came back up for air. He was the one in the water, but she was the one feeling as if she couldn’t breathe. She remembers how good he looked with the sun shining on his face and the smile illuminating his face. That’s when it hit her, that’s when she understood she was fucked.

“Why are you so afraid of it?” Jonah asks running his fingers through her hair. Honestly? Because she’s damaged, because she doesn’t know how to trust anyone anymore, because she’s scared, because he is a pop star touring the world which classifies him as the worst kind of people to date for someone like her. “Why can’t you let him take care of you like you let me do it?”

She knows he doesn’t mean it in a sexual way.

She’s always had these walls around her, and she doesn’t know how to let someone in. Jonah is the only one who’s ever managed to make it through. She’s been taking care of herself since she was really young, she never learned how to let someone else do it for her.

Those walls were the breaking point of all her previous relationships. She was so broken she didn’t even know if she was able to let herself fall in love with someone. “Because I don’t know how.” Her voice is barely a whisper by fear it would break if it was any louder.

She wants to let him in, but she doesn’t want to break him like she broke all of the others. Daniel is an angel and he deserves better than all of the trouble she would bring in his life.

“I know what you’re doing.” Jonah sighs in disappointment. She hates how well he knows her, she just hates it. Sometimes she wants to have breakdowns and doubts without Jonah interrupting her and making her understand everything she’s thinking doesn’t make sense. “Bringing yourself down, telling yourself he would be better without you, that you’re just a burden and Danny’s an angel blablabla.” She even hates how spot on he is. “You are one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, you’re caring and loyal and generous and smart and funny and beautiful. Daniel would be the luckiest guy on earth to have you, I know it and he knows it too, but you don’t.”

She doesn’t want to cry, she really doesn’t want to, but Jonah always had a way with words. “I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed but Daniel’s probably the most hard-working person I know. He never takes the easy way because he knows working hard pays a lot more. He’s not afraid of you and everything you’re going to throw his way because that’s who he is.”

It’s painful how Jonah’s always right.

When she looks back on it, she notices how slow and careful Daniel has been with her. He doesn’t treat her like she’s made of glass, he knows she hates it, he treats her like one of the boys most of the time but soften his voice when the conversation becomes more serious. He asks questions, gets to know her but never pushes when she gives vague answers or switch the subject. Daniel never complains or asks the same question twice, he knows being patient always brings him the answers. And when she does give him answers, he stops talking for hours if he has to and looks at her like she’s saying the most interesting things he’s ever heard, like what she says matters. He’s careful and learns how to deal with her, how to act so she won’t close herself to him and how to get her back in the light when the darkness takes over her head. He’s slowly becoming her other safe place and it scares her.

She knows being close to her isn’t easy, but Daniel effortlessly inches his way to her heart like it’s the easiest thing he’s ever done. It’s not, they both know it’s not but the way all the work doesn’t seem to bother him makes her heart pound in her chest.

“You don’t even know if he likes me.” Her voice wavers on every word.

“Baby, there’s nothing I’m more sure in life than Daniel’s feelings for you.” She’s not afraid to say she wishes Jonah knew how to lie so she could tell him he’s wrong. He doesn’t though, Jonah isn’t good at lying when he’s forced to, like in interviews, and he’s simply unable to lie to her even if he wanted to.

“And, still, it only takes a little bit of alcohol for you to get in my bed.” She tries to joke through the lump in her throat.

“I guess it makes me the bad friend.” Jonah almost winces, like he just thought about how wrong all of it was.

“Depends who you’re asking.”

*********************************************************************

Alcohol is flowing in her veins, it’s hard to keep herself upright, it’s hard to simply think. She eventually gives up and lays her head on Jonah’s shoulder. Her best friend is sitting, his back against the couch with all of his friends forming a circle on the floor. She doesn’t know how they ended up there, she’s pretty sure they started the night on the couch.

Daniel’s sitting in front of her. He’s drunk, so drunk he can hardly take his eyes off of her. He wants to reach out, just put his fingers on the exposed skin of her waist, under her cropped shirt but he doesn’t. He fights every urge he has and tears his gaze away.

She’s beautiful, so beautiful, smart, funny, creative and she has the biggest heart he’s ever seen. He doesn’t know how or when he fell in love with her, but he certainly knows why. People haven’t always been kind to her, but she’s always be kind to people, no matter how broken she was. She takes care of all five of them, she makes sure they eat, sleep, shower and they have fun once in a while instead of just working.

She knows them all, knows when Zach’s getting homesick, when he needs to talk about his family, when he needs to feel like a normal teenager, when he’s about to break. She knows when Corbyn needs to talk, Corbyn who’s always so reserved and secretive, she knows how to read him, she knows when he needs someone to lean on, when he needs Christina but doesn’t want to bother her, when she needs to call her for him. She knows when Jack needs a hug, not those friendly kinds the guys give him all the time, she knows when he needs a hug to put him back together, when the thoughts of being far away from Lavender gets too much for him, when he doubts how good of a singer he is or if he can be a good father for his daughter. She knows all of that.

She knows Jonah like the back of her hand. Jonah who’s one of the hardest persons to read. Though nothing about him changes she still knows when something’s wrong. It’s like she can read his mind.

And she knows him. She knows when he’s overworking himself though he makes sure nobody sees him, she always knows. She knows when he needs time alone, when he’s about to explode, when he needs to think about something else other than the music he’s working on or the rumors spreading around. She knows when the words are ready to come out of his mouth and when he needs someone to just hold him.

She knows everything that they don’t even know about each other even though they spend most of their time together. She gets things out of them that they wouldn’t dare tell their bandmates and carries secrets she’s the only one to know.

She holds them together and she amazes him everyday.

Her eyes slowly open and immediately locks with Daniel’s. Her face scrunches up in a frown. Daniel’s looking at her like she’s the most amazing thing he’s ever seen. “Are you ok?” She mouths trying not to alert the others. He nods though his face is already burning up.

She looks around at the others before looking back at Daniel letting her eyes travel to the backdoor. He doesn’t react the first time until she moves her head with her eyes locked on his. She motions the glass door leading to their back yard. He raises his eyebrows and he isn’t sure if he’s reading it wrong or if she wants him to go with her.

She presses a kiss to Jonah’s cheek before getting up. He’s never been jealous of Jonah and sometimes he wonders if he should be. He’s easily the closest to her and has a been for a few years. At the same time, that thing between them always felt like an amazing friendship more than two people in love with each other. Still, Jonah knows everything about her, he’s the first one she runs to, he’s always the one she’s cuddled up against. Daniel thinks that if Jonah was in love with her he would have no chance. Not one.

Yeah, of course, sometimes he wishes she would be pressed against him instead of Jonah, but he doesn’t get jealous, he doesn’t wish they would stop being so close. He loves their friendship.

She walks past him and straight to the backyard, leaving the door open behind her. He only waits a few seconds before following her. Nobody asks questions but, at the same time, they’re all probably too drunk to even notice. He follows her and closes the door behind himself.

The yard isn’t well lit. The only light near the door barely lights up far enough so Daniel can see her sitting on the side of the pool. He walks up to her, trying really hard to walk in a straight line though the alcohol in his veins isn’t making it easy.

He sits by the pool so close to her their shoulders and legs are touching. The water on their feet is really warm, warmer than it had been during the day. “Are you ok?” She asks quietly breaking the silence.

“Yeah.” He chuckles. “Are you?”

“I’m really drunk.” She admits and Daniel remembers the shooters she took with Corbyn earlier.

“Me too.” He says slightly pressing his shoulder against hers.

“You looked like you needed some time away. Some time to breathe.” He doesn’t realize that is exactly what he needed before the words leave her mouth.

“How do you do it?” The frown on her face expresses her confusion. “How do you always know what each of us needs?”

She hesitates between telling him the truth or just brushing him off. Then she remembers she doesn’t know when’s the last time she kept something from Daniel. “I guess, when you’re used to people not caring about you, you start caring too much about the ones that do. You get this look on your face when you’re thinking too much, the corner of your mouth lifts when you’re uncomfortable and you take many deep breaths when you need to leave a place, like you can’t really breathe.”

He didn’t even know he does those things. “I care about you.”

“I know.” She says and her smiles feels genuine.

“Do the other four do shit like that or I’m the only one unable to keep my emotions?” He knows really well she figured all the others out, but he’s really curious.

“They all have their little habits.” She looks back at him like she just had an idea. “We should go in the pool.”

He shakes his head watching her shakily get up on her feet. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea. We’re too drunk.”

She ignores what he says completely and pulls her shirt over her head. His breath gets caught in his throat. Woah. His heart is pounding in his chest, his eyes glued to her hands undoing her jeans.

She pushes her jeans down like she isn’t just getting half naked in front of the guy she’s in love with. She tries not to think too much about it, but her heart is still pounding in her chest. It’s just underwear, like she’s wearing a swimsuit right?

Daniel isn’t ready for the dark red of her panties. “You’ll save me if I’m too drunk to swim?” Her voice sounds dangerously flirty, like the alcohol just hit her. It’s certainly not helping the problem threatening to wake up in his pants.

As soon as the words leave her mouth she jumps in the pool. Daniel can’t really see where she is in the dark water until she comes back up for air. She stands in between his knees running her hands up his legs to finally stop on his thighs.

She’s gonna be the death of him. “Come on. The water’s nice.” She pushes herself off of him swimming to the middle of the pool.

He rolls his eyes and finally gives in. He pulls his shirt off, completely missing how she bites her lip at the view, along with the rest of his clothes. He jumps in the pool too, just beside her, making sure to splash her in the process. Just like Daniel minutes before, she can’t see him through the dark water.

He wraps his hands around her waist before coming back up to breathe. She smiles at him like he didn’t just scared the shit out of her and like she doesn’t like having his hands on her. All she can focus on is the feeling of his skin on hers. “You were right, the water is pretty nice.”

Her arms wrap around his neck by reflex, tugging him closer. He dares letting his hands travel further down to her thighs to get her to wrap her legs around his waist. “I’m always right.” Her voice is really quiet, but their faces are so close he doesn’t miss a word.

“Yeah?” He asks raising his eyebrows. “I doubt that.”

She brushes her lips against his. Their hearts feel like they’re gonna burst out of their chests. She leans in, as if she’s going to kiss him before pulling back. “Oh yeah?” She challenges him.

He doesn’t even answer anything before pressing his lips against hers.

It’s everything she’s ever thought it would be. Breathtaking, passionate and loving. Daniel kisses like he needs her to breathe, like he can’t get enough of her. She runs her fingers through his hair just as he pushes his tongue past her lips.

It’s everything he’s ever thought it would be. Her lips are soft but still pushing against his. She kisses him like she could die tomorrow, like he’s her lifeline. His fingers dig in her thighs walking her back to press her against the side of the pool.

She reluctantly pulls back from him to breathe. His mouth slides from hers to her jaw. She throws her head back when his lips make their way down her neck sucking and biting, carefully making sure he doesn’t leave any mark. “Fuck, Danny.” She moans. He leaves a trail of kisses back up against her skin until their lips meet again.

One of Daniel’s hands leave her leg to hold on to the edge of the pool anchoring himself. Their bodies roll together trying to have as much skin on skin contact as possible.

She gets bolder and with one hand unhooks her bra before throwing it outside of the pool. Daniel pulls back trying to get his lungs to function with the view in front of him. “Oh god.” He gets out before dragging his lips down her chest

When she’s had enough she tugs at his hair pulling him back in another kiss. She takes the opportunity to slide her fingers in his boxer taking a hold of his erection. Daniel breaks the kiss once more letting a moan escape his lips. He lets her move her hand up and down pressing his head against her shoulder. “Fuck.”

His fingers hurt where they’re clenching on the edge of the pool while he’s pretty sure he’s leaving bruises on her left thigh. He’s almost embarrassed he’s already so close but at the same time he’s wanted her for so long. His fingers reach in the water to wrap around her wrist making her stop her movement. He lifts his head up meeting her eyes. “Please Danny.”

It’s all it takes for him to pull back and get his boxers off. She lets go of him pulling her own underwear down her legs too. Once they got rid of them she wraps her legs back around his waist.

His fingers are dangerously close to her core when he stops to look at her. “You sure?” In other circumstances he would have stopped, he would have been the responsible one. But as the words leave her mouth, they both know there is no way in the world they’ll stop now, they waited long enough. “Yes, please.”

He presses a finger inside of her while catching, once again, her lips with his. They make out slowly as he quickly works up to three fingers making sure she is ready. “Hurry up Danny, please.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice before he lines himself up. He presses the head of his dick against her hole, presses one of his hands against her ass and wraps the other around the edge of the pool holding himself before lowering her onto him.

A moan escapes each of their lips when Daniel bottoms out. He attaches his mouth and his teeth to her shoulder while she wraps her fingers in his hair pulling lightly. “Fuck, babygirl, you feel so good.” The feeling of her tight walls around him is almost too much.

The nickname makes chills run down her spine. He pulls his hips back and pushes back in as hard as he can with the water slowing him down. The moan that escapes her lips is probably the best thing he’s ever heard in his life.

He sets up a hard and fast pace, making her fingers tug his hair harder. He moans at the pain shooting through him, mixing with all the pleasure. Every moan falling off her mouth makes the feeling in his stomach grow.

She tries to silence herself, the last thing she want is one of the boys hearing them and coming outside but the pleasure running through her makes it hard to keeps the sounds in. Daniel’s thrusts are deep and hard just how she likes it. Her orgasm is building up fast in her stomach. “Daniel.”

He’s pretty sure she ruined his name, that the next time it’ll roll of her tongue all he’ll be able to hear is the moans she let out that night.

She pulls him back in another kiss just as she feels like screaming. The kiss muffles her moan and she feels him smile against her. She can’t keep up with the kiss for too long letting Daniel kiss down her jaw and press his tongue against her neck.

The drag of his cock against her walls is almost too much to bear for the both of them.

He’s close, way too close. He lets his hand reach back in the water pressing his thumb against her clit, moving it in circular motion. She throws her head back against the concrete on the edge of the pool. “I’m so close Danny.”

He presses his thumb harder making her body shake against his. “Look at me, baby, I wanna see you.” She manages to bring her head back locking her eyes with Daniel’s. The singer smiles at her giving a particularly hard thrust making her eyes roll in the back of her head. He almost chuckles but it makes her body contracts against him and it’s a moan that falls of his lips instead.

It takes a couple more thrusts before she comes around him, her whole body shaking in his arms and the sound of his name escaping her mouth. It only takes a few more before he buries himself deep inside of her and comes hard with a loud moan. He presses his body harder against hers holding her until she stops shaking.

Once their hearts are beating normally he pulls back. She doesn’t let him get that far pulling him by the neck into a slow and sweet kiss. When she goes to pull away it’s his turn to pull her back in with a smile on his face.

He breaks away placing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Hey.” He says behind his smile.

“Hey.” She smiles back. Neither talk about the fact that he’s still inside of her or how right it feels. “Danny I…” She doesn’t want to burst their bubble, but they have to talk about it. “I don’t do one-night stands.”

Her hand is trailing down his chest. “I don’t either.” It’s the only thing Daniel can manage through the lump in his throat.

“I’ve had feelings for you for a while. But, you know, I get it if you don’t return them. I’m not exactly easy to be with and…” He cuts her off with another kiss.

“I have feelings for you too.” He says once he breaks away. “I have for a while too and you’re crazy if you think otherwise. I don’t want easy, I want hard, because it makes things worth it. You’re the most amazing person in the whole world and I’m in love with you.”

“Even if I’m broken?” She says as the tears builds up in her eyes.

“You’re not broken. You’re beautiful and strong and caring. You’re a lot of thing but broken is not one of them. Those walls you build are protecting you, they aren’t a weakness, they’re making you strong.” He means every word that comes out of his mouth and she knows it.

“The only ones climbing them up are the ones that really cares.” She breathes out like she’s trying to explain herself.

“I would climb them forever it that’s what it takes for you to trust me.” She chuckles to keep the tears from rolling down her face.

“I trust you and I love you too.” Daniel doesn’t think he can be any happier. She kisses him once more.

“We should probably go back inside before one of them goes looking for us.” Daniel nods slowly pulling out making her hiss at the sensitivity.

“Sorry.” He whispers pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

That night she sneaks out of her room to join him in his bed. He lets her press her head against his chest and fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. He stays awake a little longer running his hand up and down her back taking in the feeling of their bodies press together. How right it feels. He stays awake until he’s sure he isn’t dreaming, until he’s sure his mind isn’t pulling tricks on him and she’s really there. 

********************************************************************

She wakes up her arm and her leg across someone’s body. “Good morning beautiful.” Daniel’s raspy voice makes chills run down her spine.

“Good morning.” The singer doesn’t hesitate before pressing his lips against hers.

“Go on a date with me tonight.” He lets out like he’s been thinking about it for hours. She smiles pressing her hand on his cheek.

“I’d love to.” His smile is as bright as a kid’s on Christmas. She can’t help but kiss him right then.

His eyes travel down her face to her naked shoulder where lays a hickey, right under her collarbone. He, honestly, doesn’t remember leaving it on her, he thought he had been careful. She pulls his chin up to press another kiss on his lips and he completely forgets about it.

“We should go downstairs before one of them comes up to find us.” It’s not that she doesn’t want to tell the others, but they agreed, the night before, to keep it to themselves for a little while. They’re not afraid the others won’t approve, they just want to be sure before letting everyone know and before the others start teasing them.

Daniel agrees with her and they both get dress before joining the others in the kitchen. “You two missed something yesterday!” It’s the first thing Zach throws at them as they walk in.

“What’d we miss?” Daniel chuckles, his friends look like they made a discovery. Corbyn chuckles too from the other side of the counter making Jonah roll his eyes. They don’t ask questions about their disappearance the day before and she’s thankful for it.

“Jonah’s hickey” Jack says taking a spoonful of cereal.

Daniel’s eyes go wide turning back to the older member of the band. “Where? From who?”

“He doesn’t want to tell us.” Corbyn adds reaching for Jonah’s shirt to tug it down revealing a hickey right under his collarbone.

“Right under the collarbone, easy to hide and looks like a shadow.” Zach says in what he assumes is his impression of Jonah.

“I was drunk ok!” He defends himself.

Daniel’s eyes are glued on the mark on Jonah’s chest like there’s something wrong with it.

“Well, he’s not wrong.” Her voice makes everything click in his head.

The hickey is in the exact same place as hers, it looks as faded as hers does. The knowing looks the two best friends throw each other only confirms his doubt. All of it makes sense. He remembers catching a glimpse of it yesterday but didn’t think too much about it, thinking it might be a shadow or his mind playing tricks on him.

It wasn’t. It clearly wasn’t.

He did not put that on her, and she doesn’t sleep with people she doesn’t know. Of course, it’s Jonah. It’s always been Jonah. He’s there, he’s hot, she trusts him.

They both disappeared when they all went to the bar the other night, like they do every time they go out he just realizes.

Fuck.

He can’t compete with Jonah.

He doesn’t want to compete with Jonah.

Jonah’s hers and she’s always been his. Both of them against the world since they were kids.

“Daniel?” Her soft voice gets him out of his thought. “Are you ok?” When his name rolls off her tongue he doesn’t think of them in the pool, of her moaning his name. He thinks of her under Jonah’s body moaning her best friend’s name.

He doesn’t answer and rushes out of the kitchen. He grabs his keys and his shoes and runs out of the house under the stunned gaze of his bandmates.

***************************************************************

“Where were you two last night?” Corbyn frowns, walking back to the kitchen. He tried to run after Daniel, but his bandmate was to quick for him.

“In the pool.” She says still astounded by the way Daniel just left the house.

“What happened in the pool?” Jonah’s voice pulls her back to reality making her turn her head to look at him.

“Nothing happened in the pool.” There is no way in the world that this weak lie fooled Jonah, but still, he doesn’t say anything. Corbyn, Jack and Zach frown though, confused at Daniel’s actions.

It takes a few minutes before Jonah manages to get her alone, far enough away so the boys wouldn’t hear what she had to say. “What happened last night?” His voice is as soft as usual, but she knows under all of that he’s worried about his friend.

“Nothing happened.” She tries once again with a little more conviction. Jonah huffs loudly at her attempt at lying to him.

He closes his eyes for a few seconds taking a deep breath. He can’t turn his worry in anger, he just can’t. “We said no more lying.” He sees her shoulders fall and he understands something big must’ve happened.

“We had sex in the pool.” A blush rises to her cheeks and a smile tugs at the corner of Jonah’s lips.

“About damn time.” Her face lights up at his words, smirk making its way to her mouth. “And then?”

“And then nothing.” She throws her arms in the air. “Nothing. We talked, confessed our feelings, agreed to try, to go on a date tonight and we cuddle all night.”

She’s as worried as Jonah feels. “Nothing went wrong Jonah. I don’t know what happened.”

The way she brings her arms back down moves the loose shirt on her body, revealing pieces of her skin. Jonah’s eyes drift to the newly uncovered shoulder. “That’s what went wrong.” Jonah says out loud just as he realizes it.

Her eyes drift to her collarbone in front of her best friend’s finger. The hickey is almost gone but they can still see the outline of it on her skin. For a second she doesn’t get it. She’s been naked in front of him, he must’ve seen it the night before, why freak out this morning? It hits her when she looks back at her friend.

He saw Jonah’s. This morning he saw Jonah’s hickey and he connected the dots.

Her eyes widen and Jonah nods slowly, ashamed. He’s not ashamed of her or what they did. He ashamed because he knew, really well, that Daniel had a crush on her, but he still didn’t put an end to the friends with benefit arrangement. He’s ashamed because his selfishness hurt Daniel.

Tears are rising up in the corner of her eyes. Did she really ruin one of the best things in her life in only a day?

Jonah wraps his arms around her body. “It’s gonna be fine.” He says not knowing if it really is going to, but he hopes Daniel understands.


	2. Burning wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t compete with him.” He throws without even a glance. “I can’t and I don’t want to.” 
> 
> She lets him get out everything he has pressing on his chest. “You already had me, you could’ve just walked away. You didn’t have to say you liked me, you didn’t have to sneak into my bed you…” He stops as if the words are pushing each other in his head and he doesn’t know which one to use. “You didn’t have to lie.” 
> 
> When he lays his eyes on her they stop on the uncovered skin of her collarbone before looking back down at the ground. He can’t fucking believe he fell for that. He can’t believe he fell for her, when he should’ve known. Fuck! He should’ve known. 
> 
> “I didn’t lie.”

It started as a late drunken night almost a year ago. They came home together, like they always did. Sleep did not overtake them as it usually did after a party though, instead they ate pizza on Jonah’s couch and talked about everything and anything really.

Jonah expressed his struggle with girls and sex, said he was feeling horny but really couldn’t afford to just pick up anyone who could turn out to be a super fan who’ll tell everyone or just someone with bad intentions. She laughed and nodded, admitting she’d like to have someone too, but she could never see herself sleep with someone she didn’t know or trust.

It took one look and Jonah was already tugging her so she would straddle his lap. They were so so close and saying it didn’t make her body react would be a lie. “Jonah I…” Though it seemed like she was going to tell him it’s a bad idea, her arms still wrapped around his neck.

“One-time thing. No feelings.” She didn’t need more before pressing her lips against his.

Thing is. It didn’t stop there. They kept going, hooking up whenever they felt like it, most of the time when they were both really drunk. Morning afters were awkward the first few times but then it just became like every sleepover they’ve ever had, though it involved less clothes then it used to.

She knows everyone’s persuaded that having a fuck friend is a bad idea and on some levels she agrees. She knows those stories end in heartbreak every time, one of them catches feelings and gets hurt but she’s not scared. She’s not scared because she knows it won’t happen to them.

She is as far as possible from the type of girls Jonah likes and he’s really far away from the type of guy she goes for. They’re best friends, and nothing ever got in the way of their friendship because they know they just don’t fit together.

It’s her hair that isn’t the right colour and his body that doesn’t fit with hers. It’s their hands sliding from each other’s grip and their eyes not looking quite right.

It’s not that he doesn’t think she’s beautiful, she is. It’s not that she doesn’t see how handsome Jonah is, she knows that really well. They aren’t blind, this isn’t the problem.

It’s in the roll of her eyes when he brings her back to earth. It’s in the way his teeth press in his bottom lip when she refuses to follow him. It’s in the way everything burns around them, and trouble follows right after.

It’s how things between them wouldn’t be pretty.

They look perfect as best friends, but they both know that being more would break them.

It’s how Jonah needs someone to bring him back down when he’s flying high while she pulls him higher. It’s when she needs someone to pull her up when she’s down but Jonah stays laying next to her.

Jonah’s usually the calm one, he thinks before doing and knows the consequence of his actions. When he’s with her, he throws all of that out of the window. It’s like he forgets the word “no” even exists. He can’t even count the number of times they got in trouble before he was in the band. Though he can’t count the number of times he almost got caught doing some shit he shouldn’t be doing after they started the band.

He needs an anchor, he needs someone to bring him back.

She’s not extraverted or introverted, she’s somewhere in the middle but Jonah can easily pull her to the extremity on either side. Though she doesn’t mind most of the time, she doesn’t know how to come down, to go back to herself. Jonah pulls and pulls and pulls until she’s too exhausted to keep going.

She needs an anchor, she needs someone to bring her back. 

They can’t be that for each other.

He would want her to climb with him, but she would fight to keep her feet on the ground.

Together they would crash.

Jonah’s love feels like a candle shattering the black of the night, killing parts of the cold freezing her bones. Daniel’s love feels like a whole fucking fire, like nothing else exist but the warmth of it all. Like the darkness and the cold never came to life. Getting too close might burn her skin but staying away is just unbearable. Like the flames are burning away all the air her lungs need, but he still keeps her alive.

Just like she knows Jonah’s not right for her, she knows Daniel’s perfect.

Because Daniel wraps his arms around her and puts her back together with one hug. Because Daniel’s fingers press against the small of her back and the tension in her shoulder just floats away. Because with him she can stay right in the middle, he doesn’t need her to put herself out there or keep her walls up. Because with Daniel everything makes sense. Because with Daniel she feels whole. Like Daniel’s her other half while Jonah’s just an extension of herself.

It’s hard to understand.

But everything makes sense.

*********************************************************************

The sound of the door startles her awake. She didn’t mean to fall asleep on the couch but all the thinking and worrying made her so tired.

Daniel doesn’t acknowledge her, or any of his bandmates for that matter, and walks up the stairs. She lets him a few minutes to breathe before getting up.

Corbyn, Jack, Zach and Jonah are looking at each other silently asking themselves if one of them should just go see what’s going on. “I’ll go.” She announces making all the others sigh in relief. Jonah wonders for a few seconds if he should be the one going but as soon as he creates the thought he pushes it aside. She’ll know how to handle Daniel better than he would. 

Her first instinct is that Daniel’s in his room, but she stops on her track. She makes her way to the upstairs living room and spots him on the balcony. In a way she knew that’s where she would find him.

The singer doesn’t move at the sound of the glass door sliding open and then close. He knows it’s her, that she’s the one who followed him. “I can’t compete with him.” He throws without even a glance. “I can’t and I don’t want to.”

She leans against the railing next to him. His eyes are looking at the mountains they can clearly see from their house. She doesn’t press her shoulder against his, she doesn’t think he wants her that close. He drops his head down. “I don’t know why you lied. That’s what hurts the most.”

She lets him get out everything he has pressing on his chest. “You already had me, you could’ve just walked away. You didn’t have to say you liked me, you didn’t have to sneak into my bed you…” He stops as if the words are pushing each other in his head and he doesn’t know which one to use. “You didn’t have to _lie._ ”

When he lays his eyes on her they stop on the uncovered skin of her collarbone before looking back down at the ground. He can’t fucking believe he fell for that. He can’t believe he fell for her, when he should’ve known. Fuck! He should’ve known.

He still sees them pressed together, laughing and talking, understanding each other with a look across the room. He sees her laying naked on Jonah’s chest, moaning his name, kissing him, pressing her body closer and closer.

It hurts. Fuck, it hurts.

“I didn’t lie.” It’s so soft he can almost picture her smiling but he knows she isn’t. He huffs loudly.

“So, you didn’t sleep with him?” He throws the words through his teeth.

“I never said I didn’t.” Hearing it out of her mouth hurts even more than he thought it would. “You never asked, it wasn’t a secret.”

“So, what now? You’ll go to Jack or Zach.” She tries not to be offended as he basically calls her a slut.

“Friends with benefit Daniel. Never heard of it?” He feels the hurt hiding underneath her words, but he knows she’s still trying to stay calm.

“Yeah and we all know how those things end.” He rolls his eyes and she keeps herself from doing the same. “Since when?”

“Under a year I think, couple of months.” Daniel scoffs and she wraps her hands around the railing to keep them from shaking. “And I tried to stop, because I knew you would react like that, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t because not having Jonah meant getting drunk and thinking about you. It meant getting drunk and hurting, crying because I couldn’t let myself believe that you would like me back.”

He shakes his head slowly, he wants to believe her so bad, but he doesn’t want to get his heart even more broken than it already is. “You are crazy, if you think one second that Jonah and I could have something together.” She chuckles at the simple thought of them together.

“Am I?” He huffs sarcastically. “Because the way I see it, you two are perfect together. You’re already so close, you understand each other, you’re always in each other’s arms, you know everything about each other.”

“In what world do you live in where Jonah and I don’t crash and burn?! Where we don’t burn each other’s wings?” She lets the anger take over her body.

He doesn’t see the picture she’s trying to paint him. Jonah’s perfect for her. “First of all, I’m as much Jonah’s type and he is mine, which means not at all. We need someone to keep us grounded, to keep us on earth because together we fly and fly and fly until the heat of the sun gets unbearable. He’d get mad because I’d always say no and I’d get mad because he’d always say yes. We would hold each other back. I’d always be so tired, so exhausted, because I’m not that extroverted person he needs by his side, I can’t. And he can’t be the one bringing me back when I do put myself out there, because he doesn’t know how. Jonah and I together…” She stops at the thought. “We would break each other.”

He thinks about her hiding out in his room because she needed to be alone, away from people. He never understood why, if she wanted to be alone she could have taken shelter in her own room, but she always insisted on coming in his. Not Jonah’s. His.

He couldn’t help, for a minute, thinking of all the things she shared with him that she never shared with Jonah. Those time she came hiding in his room, her late-night swims she couldn’t bear to see anyone but him, those days she didn’t come out of her room but let him keep her company. Like those days she didn’t feel like seeing anyone, she didn’t feel like saying a word, those days he’s always been the exception.

“What about me?” For a second she thinks he’s asking about his place in her life. “What about me if one day you realize you’re wrong? What if you realize you miss it? What you two had.” He doesn’t let her answer before cutting her off. “What happens to me? I get my heart broken and watch the woman I love get with one of my best friends?”

She doesn’t have an answer for him. She could say that she isn’t wrong but he’s still never going to be 100% certain. “What we have?” She’s confused about what he’s referring to. “We’re friends. We have nothing else. It’s just sex Danny, nothing more, it’s not really hard to give it up.”

Daniel keeps talking as if he didn’t hear what she said. “What if you’re not wrong? What if you’re not and we get together? Do I stand by your side and try not to be jealous of Jonah? Do I stay there and try to forget he’s ever had you the same way that I do? Try not to think, every time he puts his arms around you, that he used to listen to you moan his name. That you used to lay naked in his bed before laying in mine. Am I supposed to forget about that?” She can feel her heart pounding in her chest.

“Daniel.” His name is barely a whisper out of her lips. “I’m in love with you. Nothing about last night was a lie.”

“I need time.” Daniel says before turning around and walking inside the house.

She stays there, leaning against the railing, looking at the view. Tears slowly rolling down her face. She thought that last night was the start of something new, something beautiful, something she might have waited all of her life for, but it was already ruined before it even started.

She should’ve listened to herself. Feeling meant getting hurt, whatever she is feeling for Daniel she should’ve buried it inside of herself and forget it even existed.

Not feeling anything was better than hurting and Daniel walking away… That hurt more than anything she’s ever felt.

*********************************************************************

“It isn’t fair what you’re doing.” Jonah’s voice makes Daniel jump. He thought everyone was sleeping when he got up to go get something to eat.

The younger man huffs rolling his eyes. “You can be mad at me, but it isn’t fair to be mad at her. She meant everything she told you”

Daniel turns around to face him, anger written all over his face. “Of course, I’m mad at you! I’m mad because you knew I liked her! I’m mad because you pushed me to do something about it when you already had her in your bed! I’m mad because you knew I’d get hurt but you didn’t care!”

“That’s not true.” Jonah breaths out looking back at Daniel. “I pushed you to do something because I knew she loved you too, because I knew you two would be good together!”

“I can’t compete with you.”

“Compete? Are you blind?” The older man’s anger takes Daniel by surprise. “This isn’t even a competition. If I even tried to compete with you she would laugh and then throw me out. You’re in a competition with yourself.”

This is exactly the opposite of Daniel’s thoughts. It takes him by surprise a little, how both of them seem so repulsed by the idea of being together. He expected blushing, stuttering and realizations, not eye rolls and chuckles.

“We wouldn’t survive a week with each other. We’d tired each other out and then get on each other’s nerves and fight.” He says a lot more softly than before. “You’re way better for her than I’ll ever be. You guys just fit together. You can tell yourself whatever you want Danny, but the truth is nothing will ever happen between us, nothing more than those times we slept together. We’ve been friends for years, we’ve always known that this would never be more than what it already is. The truth is she’s in love with you and as been for a while but the more you wait, the more you’re losing her.”

Daniel wants to say something, but the words are stuck in his throat.

“You have the right to be mad at me for what I did. I thought with my dick and not with my head. I should’ve stopped when you told me you liked her, and I should’ve told you. It isn’t fair for you to be mad at her, she didn’t know, and she never meant to hurt you.” He doesn’t know what to say to get Daniel to understand. With each minute that passes he’s losing her a little bit more. As the time goes on she pushes back all her feelings like she used to do and he’s going to lose her.

“I don’t get how you can say things like that.” Is Daniel’s only answer. His nose scrunches up as if he was disgust but Jonah knows it’s only confusion. “How you can say you won’t ever be together? How can you know? You two are so close and so good together, I don’t get why you two couldn’t be a thing.”

Jonah frowns his mouth half open. “What?” He’s taken aback by the words that leave Daniel’s mouth. “Have you ever, before you knew that we slept together, have you ever thought that we were going to be together? That we could be?”

No. He hasn’t. He never even though they could have been hooking up behind everybody’s back. When he looked at them he used to see two friends, but he could never imagine them being more. But admitting it meant Jonah was right and he couldn’t let him. “I always thought you two would look cute together.”

Jonah knows his bandmate’s lying as soon as the sentence leave his lips. “You’re just a fucking liar Daniel Seavey. You never, not once, felt a little bit of jealousy towards what we had.”

He might not be as good as she is, but he knows when his friends are lying. “Get your shit together Seavey, before you lose her forever.”

Daniel watches Jonah as he walks out of the kitchen his fist tightly closed.

He hates how much he’s right.

*********************************************************************

She can feel the beat of the music behind her rib cage. Corbyn pushes another shot of tequila in front of her. Salt, shot, lime. She doesn’t even feel the alcohol making its way down her throat.

“I don’t know how you do it.” He puts his arm around her shoulders and screams in her ear so she can hear him over the music. 

“After the third one it tastes like water.” She shrugs like it’s nothing.

“You’re crazy.” The blond’s eyes widen, not understanding how she can love tequila so much.

Corbyn reaches to take her hand in his, but the last thing she wants is to follow him back to the four other boys. She wants to dance, get drunk, enjoy her night without worrying about Daniel, without being careful around Jonah.

She throws a glance to the boys across the room and then back to Corbyn. He tracks her gaze and nods knowingly. “I’ll order another drink and meet you guys after.”

“Want me to stay with you?” Corbyn asks, uneasy at the thought of leaving her alone in the club.

“I’ll be fine Corbs, I’ll be with you in a minute.” She doesn’t expect the tight hug he gives her but in the back of her mind she knows it’s Corbyn’s way of telling her he’s there for her. He understands.

He turns on his heels and makes his way through the crowd. She waits until she can’t see him anymore and turns back to sit on a stool.

She stays there for a little while even after the barman slides another drink in front of her. Anything not to feel the pressure of Daniel’s eyes on her. She absentmindedly stirs her drink unaware of someone filling the empty seat next to her.

“Hey.” The guy’s voice pulls her out of her thought. She tries not to look startled. The guy’s really cute. He’s tall, blond with curly hair and his blue eyes takes her breath away.

“Hey” She pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. The alcohol rushes through her veins, everything around her is blurry except for him. She forgets about Daniel, about the strong feelings in her chest.

“I’m Aidan.” He holds out his hand for her to shake it. She smiles at the formal gesture but still takes it and introduce herself. “Can I buy you a drink? If that guy from earlier isn’t your boyfriend, of course.”

She doesn’t know how he can talk so softly but so clear over the loud music. “He’s not, just a friend.” She bites her bottom lip by reflex.

“Good.” He smiles at her drawing two dimples on his cheeks.

Not only is he cute, Aidan’s also really nice. The mix of alcohol and the conversation she holds with the stranger keeps her mind away from Daniel.

Though, on the other side of the room, the singer can’t take his eyes away from her. He can barely make up his bandmates’ voices over the sound of his heart pounding in his chest. He doesn’t get to be jealous, he knows he doesn’t but he really can’t help it.

She takes the guy’s hand in hers and pulls him on the dance floor. Daniel can see the guy’s not in his comfort zone, but at the same time, he gets to have the pretty girl in his arms.

They can’t look away from her body as she moves her hips to the music running her hand through her hair. Both of them lose the ability to breathe for a few seconds.

“Come on.” She motions to Aidan to move a little.

“I told you, I can’t dance.” She rolls her eyes at him making her new friend smile.

“Everybody can dance.” She takes his hands and lays them on her hips. “Just follow me.” She turns around in his hold, pressing her back to his chest and their hips together. Though he struggles a little he finally manages to move in sync with her.

She reaches for him over her own shoulder threading her fingers through his hair pulling him closer. Aidan presses his face in the crook of her neck, he doesn’t press his lips against her skin but the feel of his breath is enough to send chills down her spine.

Daniel’s blood is boiling in his veins. He wants to kill him. The guy pulls her closer and it takes everything for him to stay where he’s standing. His eyes meet the guy’s and he doesn’t have it in him to look away.

A frown draws itself on Aidan’s face until he recognizes the guy she called her friend next to the one looking like he wants to murder him. He chuckles against her skin.

“You ok?” She asks in confusion.

“Certainly better than that guy.” She follows his gaze to where Daniel’s eyes are burning holes through the both of them. She throws her head back against Aidan’s shoulder in annoyance. “So that’s him hmm?”

The confusion must be clear in her face because he doesn’t wait long before explaining himself. “Every lonely pretty girl at the bar is healing her broken heart.”

She turns around in his arms and wraps her own around his neck. “My heart’s not broken, he’s just an asshole.” The words are meant to be soft but sounds more like she’s hurt than anything else. He still smiles and brushes his lips against hers.

“I don’t care. As long as the pretty girl comes home with me at the end of the night.” His lips are soft and slow when they meet hers, but they feel all wrong.

It hits her like a ton of bricks. What the hell is she doing? That isn’t her. Talking, making out with strangers. The anger, the pain made her look for an escape. Thoughts are rushing through her mind, but she doesn’t have the time to voice them before Aidan’s forcefully taken away from her.

Daniel places himself between them fire ignited in his eyes. Both his fists are clenched tight by his side while Aidan’s hands are raised in surrender. Though he wants to, he doesn’t punch the guy, he simply turns away wrapping his hand around her wrist and pulling her out of the club.

She doesn’t know what to say. Why? It’s the question that should leave her lips, but she knows exactly why. She knows he can’t bear the thought of her with someone else, she knows alcohol makes him lose control of his emotions, she knows he’s hurting. So, she shuts up and doesn’t say a thing.

Thoughts are rushing through Daniel’s head, heart still pounding against his rib cage. Anger still in control of his body. His hands are shaking by his side and he’s thankful she hasn’t said a thing because he doesn’t know how hurtful the words leaving his mouth would’ve been. He tries to keep breathing through the pressure in his chest but it’s so painful.

She closes the door of the house behind herself and all the tension drops. They kick off their shoes, hang their jackets before she even lays her eyes on him.

“Daniel.” It almost sounds like a whine breaking the heavy silence lingering between them. They need to talk about this, she wants to tell him, but the words can’t make their way out of her lips.

In two strides Daniel as her pressed against the door, his lips crushing onto hers. The kiss isn’t soft or sweet, but it doesn’t make it any less good. The kiss is fast and dirty and hot. His tongue slides against hers just as she gasps from the contact of his cold rings against the skin of her neck.

His mouth slides from her lips to her jaw trailing down her neck. His hips press harder against hers. He can’t help the urge to suck multiple marks across her skin.

She whines when he finally pulls back. He disconnects his body from hers and takes her hand in his.

***********************************************************************

He lays her down on his bed, way more gently then everything else they’ve been doing before. They both lost their clothes on the way, now decorating his bedroom floor.

He kisses down her body, taking his time on her chest before trailing down her stomach. He pushes her legs opens, kissing and nipping at the inside on her thigh. “Daniel.” She whines needing him to get on with it. She can’t wait anymore.

He lets a smirk tug the corner of his lips before flattening his tongue against her core. As soon as he does, her legs start shaking under his fingertips. Her hand finds the back of his head, fingers threading through his short blond hair. He lets the satisfaction rush through his chest pressing his tongue a little harder against her clit, pulling a moan out of her lips.

He wraps his lips around the bundle of nerves sucking lightly, until it becomes too much for her. He presses his fingers harder against her thighs, his rings biting her flesh. The pain still feels so good as he pushes his tongue inside of her.

Fuck. His mouth is probably her new favourite thing about him.

She barely notices when he pushes a finger alongside his tongue. He doesn’t move it for very long before pushing another. His mouth moves to put his lips back around her clit.

He pushes his long fingers as deep as they can go before pulling them back and pushing back harder. She’s already feeling her orgasm building up quickly as he pushes a third finger next to the others.

“Danny.” She warns him tugging with her fingers buried in his hair. He gets the message and pulls back. She thinks about returning the favour, but he doesn’t let her move. “Turn around.” It’s more an order than a question.

She does as he asks and gets on her knees and forearms. She wishes those rings will leave marks on her skin once again as he wraps his fingers against her hips.

He lines himself up and, without a warning, snaps his hips forward. She moans loudly at the feeling of her walls stretching around him and he does too. He draws his hips back slowly before pushing back even harder.

He doesn’t waste time and sets up a fast and hard pace. She can’t help the way his name continuously rolls of her tongue and the sounds falling of his mouth don’t help the feeling building up in her stomach.

After a few minutes, one of his arm wraps around her stomach and pulls her so she’s almost sitting on his lap. He pushes her legs open with his own and presses his chest against her back.

She can feel him even deeper than before and it makes both of them moan loudly. The hand that isn’t wrapped around her waist travels up her chest and wraps around her neck. Daniel doesn’t hesitate like she expects him to and just squeezes. It’s not enough to hurt or keep her from breathing, really, but it’s just enough so she can feel him and his fucking rings.

He rolls his hips, presses his lips and his teeth against her shoulder and she knows she’s not going to last long. “Daniel. Please.” The words unleash something inside of him. He goes faster and harder, smiling at the way her eyes roll in the back of her head. “Open your eyes, babygirl.” It’s the first thing he’s said to her since they left the club.

She tries to but she can’t. He groans against her ear pressing his fingers harder against her neck. “Open.” He orders and her body finally finds the strength to do as he says.

Fuck. He is so hot all rough and dominant.

Daniel’s new side just makes her orgasm build faster. “You gonna cum for me? I wanna see you cum so bad.” His words aren’t as harsh as the other ones. He talks like seeing her fall over the edge is the best thing he’s ever seen in his life and he can’t wait to see it once more.

His fingers find her clit. “Daniel!” She really hopes all the other guys are still at the club because she knows she’s being really loud.

“Come on babygirl.” He hisses and snaps his hips harder.

It isn’t long before she cums hard. Her walls contracting around him makes him groan before he cums too, burying himself deep inside of her.

They stay like this for a few seconds before he pulls his hand back from her throat. Her skin suddenly feels really cold and a shiver runs through her body. She feels sober, way too sober for the weight of what they just did.

Daniel doesn’t seem bothered though as he presses kisses across her shoulder. He pulls out of her slowly, once again apologizing at the discomfort it causes her. He kisses her skin one last time before climbing out of the bed.

She’s overthinking, she knows she is, but all of her thoughts are pushing each other in her head. The overwhelming sent and the lingering feeling of his hands on her body makes it hard to think. That and the alcohol still flowing in her veins.

He comes back from the bathroom with a washcloth and helps her clean up before throwing it somewhere on the floor with the rest of their clothes. His mind isn’t working anymore. Not after all the alcohol he drank and even less after the orgasm he just had. He simply lays next to her, pulls her against him and presses a kiss on top of her head.

They would think tomorrow.

Tonight, they could still enjoy the afterglow and their bodies laying together.

She lays her head on his chest. The sounds of his heartbeat lulling her to sleep.


	3. We're even, aren't we?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He stops in front of her and throws the first words that comes to his mind. “You left.” 
> 
> Her head snaps up from her book like she didn’t notice he was there. Her heart is pounding in her chest. Half from the scare he just gave her, half from the anxiety rushing through her. “I did. How observant!”
> 
> “You fucking ran like this was nothing.” He points back and forth between the two of them.
> 
> “This IS nothing.” She throws back harshly, getting up on her feet. “YOU told me this was nothing Daniel!”

When he wakes up he’s alone in his bed.

It doesn’t take long for him to notice it. The whole bed feels cold without her. His heart is pounding in his chest. He expected the morning to be hard an awkward, but he never expected her to run.

It takes all the courage he has to be able to walk downstairs. His ears are buzzing. She left. She fucking left.

The four boys are sitting around the table but she’s nowhere to be seen. “How’s your head?” Corbyn throws at him.

“It’s fine.” He answers a little distracted.

“She’s outside.” Jonah simply says like he can read his mind. He nods his head, thankful, before making his way to their backyard.

It’s still early in the morning but it’s already hot outside. She’s laying down on a sun chair dressed in shorts and a tank top. The book in her hands is hiding her face from him.

He stops in front of her and throws the first words that comes to his mind. “You left.”

Her head snaps up from her book like she didn’t notice he was there. Her heart is pounding in her chest. Half from the scare he just gave her, half from the anxiety rushing through her. “I did. How observant!”

“You fucking ran like this was nothing.” He points back and forth between the two of them.

“This IS nothing.” She throws back harshly, getting up on her feet. “YOU told me this was nothing Daniel!”

“That’s not what I said.” He defends himself, his heart hurting at the mention of their feelings not meaning a thing.

“Isn’t it? Because you told me you couldn’t get over the fact that I slept with my best friend.” He did tell her that, he did push her away, but he needed time. He only needed time not her to run away.

“I told you I needed time.” He says softly, his eyes traveling down her neck where should have been the multiple hickeys he made the night before. Her neck is blank though, like they never existed. He wants to rub his thumb against her skin so bad, erase the makeup she put over them. 

“Time?! This seemed more like an issue without solutions Danny because I can’t take back what I did.” She doesn’t mean to be so harsh, but he can’t just go around playing with her emotions. “Anyway, we’re even now aren’t we?”

The blond looks up to her with a frown. “You think I slept with you to hurt you and now you slept with me to hurt me. Even.”

Just the though of what she’s implying makes his heart hurt. “That is not why last night happened.”

“Isn’t it? You didn’t want me with another guy so you’re the one who took me home.” It’s more a statement than a question but Daniel still answers.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t to hurt you.” He keeps himself from throwing the words at her and pushes his anger deep inside of himself.

“Then why?” The two little words sound broken out of her mouth.

“Because I can’t fucking bear to even think about you with someone else. I need you ok and I’m sorry I was stupid, I’m sorry I pushed you away because I got scared. I’m sorry. But I’m in love with you and I couldn’t just stand there.” His hand comes on his chest, right over his heart which feels like its going to burst out of his chest. “Don’t run away from me. Please.” He punctuates his last word with a tear rolling down his cheek.

“I love you too.” He’s waiting for the “but” that is coming before letting the tension lift from his body. “But I can’t do this if you’re going to be at Jonah’s throat every time we’re close.”

He doesn’t even think about his answer before voicing it. “I won’t.” She wraps her arms around herself unsure if she should believe him or not. “I get it now. I know you two don’t exactly fit together, I know you wouldn’t be good together. I…”

He takes a deep breath like he always does when everything gets overwhelming. “I’ve been in love with you for a while and…” It looks painful to get the words out. “I’ve never, not once, been jealous of Jonah. I always loved your friendship and how close you were. I just… I guess when you told me you two slept together, I kept thinking of how much closer you were to him than me and how much it would be easier for you to trust him. I flipped, got insecure and I didn’t know how to deal with that.”

She doesn’t know what to say to the little speech he just gave. “I won’t put myself between Jonah and you or get mad at your relationship. I won’t.”

“I love you. I’m so in love with you sometimes it hurts” He adds though she still doesn’t find the words to say. Tears are rolling down her cheeks too.

“I love you too.” Daniel’s never felt so happy in his life. He presses his hand against her cheek and catches her lips with his. Butterflies are flying in her stomach making it hard to keep herself from smiling in the kiss.

“I’m sorry I ran, earlier. I…” He kisses her once more to cut her off.

“Don’t. We’re leaving all of that behind. Starting over.” She nods taking her bottom lip between her teeth.

“God…” He whispers pressing his thumb against her neck. “I hate makeup so much.” The whine he lets out make her chuckle.

“Yeah, well, couldn’t exactly go downstairs looking like an animal attacked me.” He swallows back all the dirty jokes he could’ve made about her choice of words and simply presses his lips on the other side of her neck.

“I bet they looked so hot.” He breathes out, lips against the shell of her ear. He’ll never get tired of seeing chills run down her body at the sound of his voice.

“I’ll show you tonight.” She promises. “And, well, I didn’t cover up those.” He pulls back a little so she can lift her shirt up to reveal her hipbone. The two purple circles laying on her skin makes him want to press his mouth against them.

He frowns up at her, they don’t exactly look like finger marks. He tries to think but he doesn’t know what actually made the marks. She slips her hand in his and makes one of his rings turn around his own finger.

His eyes widen and he goes to apologize, to tell her he should’ve taken them off, when she presses her hand against his mouth. “If you say you’re sorry, I will hit you. I like them.” He wants to look back at them but the more he does the tighter his sweatpants get, and the boys are probably watching them through the window. “But you know what?”

She leans in to talk in his ear like he did with her seconds ago. “Those same marks would be even hotter on my neck.” All the air gets knocked out of his lungs. Fuck.

He knows he didn’t choke her hard enough to leave finger marks but the fact that she would want to, make the situation in his pants worse.

She chuckles at the look on his face and he frowns trying to look as if he was mad at her for having this effect on him.

She kisses him once more. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***************************************************************

She memorizes the view in front of her like it’s the last time she’ll ever get to see it. Daniel’s laying on his stomach, sheets low on his hips and his arms crossed under his head. Her eyes trail down his body, wandering on the muscles of his upper back and then down to the dimples on his lower back.

She almost drools at the sight.

It takes all the self-control she has not to pull the sheets away from his naked body. She knows that if she does, they won’t be getting out of bed any time soon.

His eyes slowly open as she rolls out of bed. He watches her gather her clothes scattered around his bedroom floor, dressed in only his shirt and black panties. The corner of his mouth lifts up at the view. He can’t believe he gets to have her for himself.

She looks down at Daniel’s shirt covering her body, she doesn’t really want to take it off, but her hands still find the hem to pull it over her head. Daniel groans at the movement making her lift her eyes to meet his. “Don’t take it off. You look so good in my shirt.”

“But…” She stops herself biting down her bottom lip. ‘But the guys’ll notice’ is what she wants to say but as the words are about the leave her lips she realizes she doesn’t care. “Ok” She shrugs already pulling her hair up to tie them in a messy bun.

“You should probably let your hair down though.” Daniel smirks at the sight of the hickeys decorating her neck. She rushes to the mirror of his bathroom.

“You’re such a dick.” She chuckles walking back into the room. She fakes being mad at him letting her hair fall back on her shoulders.

He laughs at the comment. “That’s not what you were saying last night when I was making them.” She throws her pillow at him.

“Staaaay.” Daniel whines as he watches her put her leggings on. He glances at the time and he knows what she’s going to say before the words even leave her mouth.

“Nope. Get out of bed so we can do something of our day. Like go get ice cream or something.” She ties a knot on the front of his shirt revealing a glimpse of her stomach.

“Ice cream in the morning?” Daniel frowns like what she’s saying doesn’t make sense.

“It’s noon Daniel, it’s not morning anymore.” She laughs at him, already halfway through the door. “Hurry up.” He’s already jumping out of bed throwing on a shirt and sweatpants.

********************************************************************

The four guys are already eating lunch when she walks in the kitchen.

Corbyn’s memory never fails him. He knows as soon as he sees it that the shirt’s not hers. He knows it’s not hers because he knows it’s one of Daniel’s favourite. His eyes meet Jonah’s confused ones. She moves around the kitchen while the two other boys silently converse behind her back.

Jonah wants to ask so bad but Corbyn’s eyes are telling him to just shut up. “What’s up with you two?” Zach cuts in with a frown. Corbyn keeps himself from rolling his eyes at the younger singer’s obliviousness.

He doesn’t even have time to answer before Daniel walks in the kitchen. He wraps his arms around her waist pressing his chest against her back. Four pair of eyes stop on them.

Oblivious, she just turns around in Daniel’s arms and let him press his lips against hers. They pull away suddenly aware of the weight of his friends’ gaze on them.

All four of them look away as if their eyes weren’t glued on the scene before them only seconds earlier. The couple pulls away from each other moving to make their own lunch.

“So… You two?” Zach says taking a spoonful of cereals. Daniel rolls his eyes at him. “Is that a question or…?”

“Are you two a thing?” Jack cuts in knowing it’ll take a long time before Zach actually makes an understandable sentence.

“Yes.” Her heart skips a beat at the way Daniel doesn’t even hesitate before answering his friend’s question.

“And… This.” Jonah says pointing between her and himself. “This is not a problem, is it?” She’s probably the only one who can hear the hint of fear in his voice.

“It’s not, I promise.” The way Daniel smiles at him erases Jonah’s fear of having to let go of their friendship.

She presses her lips against Daniel’s, once more, under the disgusted noises of his bandmates.

She feels the happiness rushing through her veins. She is right where she wants to be, surrounded by her best friends and the love of her life under the Californian sun.

She is still healing her bruises and wounds from the past, but she can see the ray of light piercing the darkness. Like a crack in the walls she spent so much time building around herself.

Though the scars are still marking her body she knows she’s surrounded by people who care about her and will help her reach for her dreams.

She presses another kiss to Daniel’s lips.

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, it means a lot. Leave a comment if you want.  
> Sorry for the mistakes, english is not my first language.
> 
> Love you,  
> Lauren xxxx


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